What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
