Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
