left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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