happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
MIDGETS
????
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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