you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
