Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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