sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
