Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
