We won't sleep together?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
