I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
