yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
