break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
