what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
