I take back everything I said about communal showers
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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