Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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