I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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