Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.

(320): View more from Minnesota

He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.

(406): View more from Montana

Ok, i'm coming over

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.

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(352): View more from Florida

i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having

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(505): View more from New Mexico

So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.

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(303): View more from Colorado

My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom

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