I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
