Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
