i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
