his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
