You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
