Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
