he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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