You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you would pick up someone in the library
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
