I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
