I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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