You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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