glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
