this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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