Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
