Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
