New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
