it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
