All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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