and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
