new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
