She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
