actually, I'm a sock model
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
