"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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