I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
