Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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