you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
