idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
