He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
