we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
