Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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