I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
