i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
