finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
