i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
No subtext here. People are naked.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
