just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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