you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Ladies don't puke and tell
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
