Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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