I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
