I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
