dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My feet surprised me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
