I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
