It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
