AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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