Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize