She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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