We're like a lot better than the average bears
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
