We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
