I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sorry about my life...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
