I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize